It’s about the journey not the destination!
This weekend Frank and I celebrate 30 Years of marriage!!!! I wish it was my 30th birthday! We started this journey in 1984 with a big wedding and wonderful European honeymoon! We were full of hope and so many plans for the future. Some of the plans worked out and some did not, but honestly I would not give up the past 30 years or turn back the clock if I could. There have certainly been the ups and downs and if you would have asked me back in the 90s if I thought I would still be married I would have honestly said no. The 90s were trying times for us, lots of downs.
In the mid 90s it was painfully clear that we needed a big change in our life to find each other again and that change came in the form of selling our house and moving downtown. So one day when Frank came home from a business trip he found my stuff packed and in the garage and a For Sale by Owner sign in the front yard. I know how crazy that sounds now but at the time it was the only answer, or at least the only one I could see. So we decided to go out on a limb, we sold the house, we put most of our stuff in storage and we moved downtown to an 800 sqr ft apartment in the warehouse district. We had just gone through a decade of trying to have children, without success, of trying to build careers, too much work, and of building lives that did not always include each other, we needed to get off the marry-go-round and find some stable ground. It was time to either focus on us or move on with our individual life. Through lots of work and primary by the Grace of God we spent the next two years focusing on each other and learning about how to make a life together.
It was a tough couple years, lots of shouting and crying and drinking! But at the end of those two years we were ready to move back to the suburbs, buy our house and move on with the life we had imagined way back at the beginning. Sure it would be different than the original plan but it would be filled with many blessings. In the 17 years since that time we have laughed, cried, struggled and made more memories than we had thought possible. We have built a family of two…………….yes two makes a family, and we have surrounded ourselves with the people in our life that make a difference.
In many ways the past 30 years have flown by. Do we have regrets, a few, but then who doesn’t, and do I wish sometimes that we had not wasted some of the years on BS stuff, sure, but it meant something then. I would not give up a thing, not even the bad, because I know that I am a better person because I married Frank.
I know that Frank and I can conquer the world if we are together. We are stronger and smarter and a force when there is the two of us. We love each other unconditionally and in spite of what we are not, we encourage each other and we allow each other to be their own person. Yes sometimes there is still shouting, we are Italian after all, but are life is THE BEST!
So the moral of this story………………if you want a solution and you are willing to look outside of yourself there will be an answer and if you are lucky the answer will lead you to happiness. It takes time, patience and truth!
And now we move on to the next 30 years, yes we can still be alive in 30 years LOL!
Life in this order–your God, your Self, and all the rest.
(disclaimer—-spelling is subject to interpretation)
Today is the last day in the home that Frank and I bought 17 years ago. Is it sad, a little, but honestly it is also satisfying and exciting.
When we bought this place we were at a time in our life when a big house and lots of room was what we wanted and in some cases needed. I had lots of family who lived out-of-town and stayed with us so the extra room was great. We had the holiday house at the time with big holiday meals and lots of people and for sure we had the party house. Our friends came over with their kids and we spent many hours on the deck. In the past 17 years we have really USED this home. We spent hours on home improvement, just ask Frank! We worked hard to always make our house a home. We welcomed people to come and enjoy, relax, take your shoes off and if your tired take a nap. Every bit of this home is used and enjoyed and it is very satisfying to know that we accomplished our goal of having a home that people wanted to come to. If the walls could talk I would assume they would tell stories of crazy times, sad times, loving times but most important they would tell you how we grew and changed and became the people we are today. It was a true adventure.
So now we are moving on to the next stage of life. Leaving this home is hard for Frank and I but in many ways it is harder for our families and our friends. For the kids they have always known us in this house so they can’t imagine us anyplace else. I get that but change is part of life and they will adjust. The kids have all grown and have their own life now and their own families and we are more spread out so not as big of a group. We have less traffic in and out than in the past and life seems to be just a little quieter. All that being said we are only moving 10 minuets away and we have assured everyone that the parties will continue, they will just be a little more crowded…LOL.
So we are down sizing to our retirement home, not that we are retiring right now but we are hoping to retire early and this is the first step in getting that in order. The new place is perfect for us, we think. We have fixed it up with a beautiful kitchen and new floors and painted and cleaned everything to a beautiful shine. We have packed all our boxes and have scheduled the movers and tomorrow morning bright and early the big truck will pull up. We have spoken to our neighbors and said our good byes and we have met many of the new neighbors. All that is left is to lock the doors and walk away.
We can do this! We are ready for the next phase of our life and we are excited about the change. Yes change can be difficult and it sometime takes us awhile to get comfortable with the idea of change but in the end it is what keeps life interesting, exciting and worth living. Weather you are buying a new house a new car or something as small as new shoes, the change and the new gives us a feeling of moving forward of not settling and a sense of a fresh start.
So tomorrow we reset………….How wonderful!
Life in this order–your God, your Self, and all the rest.
(disclaimer—-spelling is subject to interpretation)
So it is really INTERESTING that I would look at this tonight since it has been 10 months since I wrote anything. At the beginning I really thought that I would post once a week, after all I thought I really had some INTERESTING things to say. Well either I am not very INTERESTING or I am just too darn busy to take the time to tell you what I think. When I first started writing I would type in Word first to check the spelling and grammar and then would copy and past and put it on-line. Even then I would double-check it and sometimes after it was up I would take it down and repost if necessary. That my friends is way to much work. So INTERESTINGLY enough I decided not to do that, I thought it would help, but still I worried about that spelling stuff. Obviously spelling has never been my strong point. So tonight I am just typing and not worried about spelling and stuff and it seems to make me feel better. I wonder if I will feel better enough to actually post more often, I hope so.
INTERESTING that we have had a crazy year and I can’t think of how to start telling you about it. Part of the reason is probably because my husband is sitting next to me reading an article from the AARP magazine. We have always wanted to get an RV and travel around the country for a couple of years after we retired. INTERESTING that tonight is the night he picked to read me an article about people who have done just that. Sounds like fun! But him reading to me, which I normally love, does make it harder to concentrate on writing.
So tonight I will listen to him read and maybe, hopefully, God Willing I will find something INTERESTING to say and tell you about it soon!
WOW life is certainly INTERESTING!
Life in this order–your God, your Self, and all the rest.
(disclaimer—-spelling is subject to interpretation)
How come no matter how long you are gone on vacation once you are back it seems like you were never gone!!! So back from 12 days in the sunshine at the beach on Siesta Key in Florida. Man I love that place! It is like a little slice of the Caribbean in Florida. This year we stayed at a new place. A small condo one block from the beach and two blocks from the village area. There were only 20 units in the complex and some days we were the only people there, it was like our own little hide away. It rained 3 of the 12 days, but know matter, it gave us time to sit and read and watch TV and take long naps. We took a few rides and we cooked out. The fresh Shrimp on the BBQ, to die for. We like to go to different places and this is our 3rd year at the same place so normally I would say we would go someplace else next year but right now I would be hard pressed to think that we will really do that, I would bet not. As a matter of fact I checked the calendar over the weekend to see what days I would need off next September to go back. OH MY.
So back to work, really busy, and back to real life. At least the problems seems manageable now and we lucky also to be celebrating the arrival of another new addition to the family. My nephew and his wife welcomed their second child, a boy this time, into the world on October 1st. He is happy and healthy and everyone is doing well. I know people have babies everyday I still cant help but worry a little until I know all is ok. It is crazy to me that we have another generation in the family. Most of our nieces and nephew have children now, the oldest around 12 and the youngest 1 week. So even though it sometimes makes me feel old it also reminds me how blessed I am to still be able to go and enjoy the kids and how great it is to see the family grow. I find myself thinking about the future and I realize that it wont be long until graduations and weddings start all over again. I am looking forward to being there and dancing in celebration. Will I be the old Aunt that is a little crazy and that the kids talk about when I am not around, you bet! It’s ok with me as long as I am still around, let them talk.
When we go to the beach it always gives me a chance to spend time thinking about life, friends, family and the future. Sometimes when I look at my age and think how fast the years have gone by it scares me, but I also am looking forward to the next 10 years. We have lots of stuff on the horizon and I plan to make the best of it. I figure if we hold hands and just keep moving we will be ok.
Did you ever notice that the big ocean can make you feel small……the good thing about that is it also makes your problems seem small. A bit of a perspective.
Life in this order–your God, your Self, and all the rest.
(disclaimer—-spelling is subject to interpretation)
So today I am working on creating a new web site for my company. Can you believe we are going to use WordPress? It made me think that I should practice by using my site so I signed on………………..It has been since Spring! WOW!! My last post talked about how I was out of the fog and ready for summer.
That was an understatement. What a Crazy summer.
We had so many things going on, work was crazy, the kids moved closer and every weekend something was going on in town. We never had our summer party and we never made it to the racetrack. I love being busy and seeing friends and not wasting time just sitting around but at one point I did think we needed a rest. It is so great to have a full life! Mother Nature was good to us and while things were a little mixed up all in all the weather gave us a chance to get outside, too much rain for the growing season, but good temps for outside dinners and sitting at the beach.
We were not without our struggles this summer……….we lost a good friend to cancer in August. She fought bravely and with grace for four years, she was and is our hero! We also lost several others including a special aunt and some friends parents. All of them were part of our life, part of who we are, they are missed. We were sad but blessed to have a “large and loving” circle to support us. I hope we can comfort and support as we move together through the coming months. It’s not ok but we will be ok.
On the flip side to our loss we are expecting a new addition to our family any day now, God’s way of helping us through the bad is to continually show us our future. The family grows and the circle widens and things chance. It’s how it works.
Our health is good, a blessing for sure, and our families are well. Some have had their struggles but we gather round them and do our best to be hopeful and strong. I am a huge believer that together we can do anything, no worries!! We are strong and resourceful. When one of us falters the other are there to pick it up! We will find a way to get better and make it better.
So as we move into fall we are looking forward to the clam bakes, the bonfires and the nesting that we do at this time of year. A good book on chilly afternoon and time spent playing indoor games and watching movies can be just what we need after a Crazy summer.
Remember who you are!
Life in this order–your God, your Self, and all the rest.
(disclaimer—-spelling is subject to interpretation)
It has been a long winter, spring is here, but it seems like I haven’t felt the glow of the sunshine and the change in my body and mind that normally goes along with the spring. UNTIL TODAY!!
For some reason today the problems seems manageable and the sad is not as sad and my mind somehow seems open to the possibilities of the summer and to the friendship the family and to the long hot days and the dog days of August. My small world somehow opened a door and let in the possibility, I need this day.
So what happened?
Well my nephew called last night and invited us to dinner tonight. Now that might not sound like a big deal but it is. As the kids have grown into adults we spend less time together, I hate that, and now the chance to spend a night with one of them and see the hope and life in them is just so uplifting. And the pride I feel when I hear about their success and when the dinner table is filled with the love that I know they feel for me and me for them, it makes me remember that it’s about the future and the living we will do to get there that really matter.
The kids have struggled with their own stuff, they have walked the rough road and in some cases have paid the price for the choices they made in their youth, it has not always been smooth and easy. In the end they never have failed to fight, even when it is hard, and they have never strayed far from the family. They are part of my light no matter what they do and it is the light that gives me the hope
Make no mistake I am the CRAZY aunt. I talk too much and give my opinions and tell them exactly how I feel. I also act a little crazy…..I try the crazy stuff, I dance to the music, I yell out at graduations and I insist that they do some things that they would rather not. I am also sure there have been many times when they wish I would just STOP! It’s all good! In the end they will be telling their kids about me and if they laugh while they tell the stories I will have accomplished my goal.
So tonight a simple meal with family lightened my mood and made the spring a little brighter. It reminded me that stress and brooding is a waste of time, no good ever comes from it.
So as I close my day I will ask God to help me remember how I feel tonight. I will ask that tomorrow I can brighten someone elses day and that our troubles stay at bay. That we not waste one moment of the day ahead and that we remember spring starts a new and that in life it’s always about what’s to come.
Thank you AR for reminding me to start my spring! Better late than never!
Life in this order–your God, your Self, and all the rest.
(disclaimer—-spelling is subject to interpretation)
It has been really busy the past few weeks, work is really crazy, it’s a good thing just not good timing. I have positive and negative. My cousin was diagnosed with B-Cell Cancer. It is bad, but good. She has it in 3 places, the biggest tumor being in her abdomen. She started treatments last week and the really good news is she is already seeing some improvement. So the good thing is the kind of cancer she has is really treatable. She has a 70% to 80% chance of being ok. We like those odds!! So the bad with the good!
I have another friend who has dealt with Breast Cancer for 4 or 5 years. She has done great, stayed strong and lived her life. Now she is starting to feel the effects of Chemo and the cancer that has spread to her lungs. We found out yesterday that she is now on oxygen, that is bad news, but she is still here, fighting each day and trying to keep some normalcy. I am very sad. So once again the bad with the good!
Franks brother John is a body builder and apparently because of the heavy weights and squats he was susceptible to tears in the tendons in the upper legs. A couple of weeks ago he was bending over in the drive and the tendons in both legs tore at the same time. The EMS rushed him to the hospital and had surgery a couple of days later. He will not bend his legs for 6 weeks and then a slow rehabilitation period. It is a long road and life changing event, but when it is all said and done he will be able to walk, and work and live his life. And again the bad with the good!
And Frank and I go through our days and keep busy with work, exercise, hospital visits and the day-to-day of our life. We worry about our friends and family and we pray for recovery and peace for those in need. We ask for strength and intelligence for ourselves. We hope that we can do or say the right thing when we are needed, and we try to keep as much of our “normal” life as possible. Strange but it seems right!
Life is a mixed bag of stuff that sometimes spills over and sometimes surprises us. It is strange that we can have so much sadness and so much hope at the same time. We cry at night, somehow the night brings sadness and in the morning we wake to a new day with new challenges and new opportunities. While the sadness is still part of us in the daylight it seems manageable and smaller somehow. It is true that you really can be Happy and Sad at the same time.
Well I can’t really figure this all out…….I can’t reconcile how this works and I certainly don’t know how it plays out.
My heart is heavy and life is crazy.
Life in this order–your God, your Self, and all the rest.
(disclaimer—-spelling is subject to interpretation)
This week at work a few of the girls went to hear a motivational speaker. It was a lunch time event so it was nice to just get out of the office for a while and just sit and talk about nothing. It was a room filled with women so of course there was a lot of talk!!! The speaker it turned out was just one of the girls, she had this way to make you feel that she got exactly what you were thinking because she was thinking it also. She was funny and clever and honest. She laid out reasons for our stress that we all knew were right and she gave us, at least most of us, a reason to stop and think about how easy it might be to at least change a little of that stress.
So her thyme was “Who is on Your Bus” . The thought being if you pretend you are driving a bus filled with your life and you begin to ask yourself a few simple questions you will really be able to de-stress your life. So—-Who is driving your bus — What direction are you going — Who is on your bus —- Who should get off your bus!!! Well we all laughed a little and then we got thinking about it and we realized that it truly is easy. We also all agreed that the people who need to get off the bus are the one thing that will be hard. When we got back to work we thought about our work bus and who we need to get on or off, the off was the hardest.
I took sometime and thought about my life in general and how I might apply this. When I was younger determining what direction the bus was going was probably the hardest, but now that I have pretty much settle that and I have now collected a bus full of people, I do think that maybe getting a few folks off the bus would be good. It is so hard to either ask people to get off the bus or to somehow show them the door without making them, or you, feel bad. Sometimes in life it is hard to let go of people or clubs or ideas that we have had in our life for many years, but there comes a time when if we are to grow and move forward we need too. Sometimes things are just not good for us anymore, sometimes we need to make space for new stuff by getting the old stuff off the bus. The old stuff is not always people, it could be tasks or obligations, but either way you need to clean it out.
I can think of a few things that I really would like to stop and let on the bus, can you, if so then we all need to learn to let go of the stuff just taking up space. Truly it will be difficult in some cases but in the end if our life is to be enriched and if we can more positively affect those around us then it will be worth the effort.
This week I am going to stop at “T” street. I am going to THINK and be TOUGH and then TAKE ACTION!! I know it will be easier said than done.
Life in this order–your God, your Self, and all the rest.
(disclaimer—-spelling is subject to interpretation)
The short answer is I don’t know!!! So I have not updated this blog in 1 month and 3 weeks, that’s what the blog history told me, so this AM I decided to get back to it, I hope. In the past I would write a blog off-line and then change and check it over and over before I posted it. I wanted to make sure it was perfect, no mis-spelled words, not possible for me, and that it did not offend anyone. What a project! So in the end it just became too much. So today I am just writing this on the blog page and figure it wont be perfect but at least it will be heard. The only people who read this are my family, who have to love me, or people I don’t know…..it will be what it will be.
Last night we had dinner with friends who I have known since I was 5 years old. Dennis and I lived on the same street and grew up together. He and my husband met in high school and he and his wife set Frank and I up on a blind date many years ago. As they say the rest is history. Hard to believe that I actually have a friend from when I was five. I am very lucky! Over the years we have had the times when we have been disconnected, our lives went in different directions for a while but a few years ago we were once again brought together, it was Dennis who found me on Facebook and encourage us to get together. It reminds me of the childs song that says “make new friends but keep the old, one silver and the gold”. We have many friends, some I would consider family, but it is truly a blessing when you know you have friends that enrich your life and build your spirit no matter how often you see them. Whether once a week, once a month or once a year I believe that Dennis is Gold.
We took them to our favorite little Italian place and introduced them to the owners who ask how we knew each other, we told the quick version of the story but when we walked out we said WOW….when you say that out loud it reminds us how our life would have been different without each other. I hope we remain friends and that we find ways to stay in each others life. It is true that it is not the amount of time you spend together that counts, it is the quality of that time.
Gold is a precious commodity!
Life in this order–your God, your Self, and all the rest.
(disclaimer—-spelling is subject to interpretation)
We were out tonight having a drink and enjoying some normal life. We are right between the Christmas and New Year holidays and it feels good to have a night out at a favorite downtown bar. It is Friday night and for being a short work week it seemed more like a long week so we were out for just one drink and a snack and then home. Good thing about Friday is that we get out of work a little earlier and we can make the happy hour, I’ll take a $1.00 off any day.
So we were talking about our day and sharing the high and low of it. I remembered that I got an email from my niece that asked a very interesting question. She said that she and her husband listen to a certain radio station every morning. Each day they ask a question that is thought-provoking that will take some time to ponder. Today’s questions caused me to really think.
“If you could ask God one question and know for sure that you would get an answer, what would the question be”.
WOW, I have so many questions! I have always wished I could talk to God and get a few immediate answers, but when you’re faced with just one question what would it be? Well we talked about it and went through a list of things that we think are important. In the end I could only think of one thing that I really need to know right now.
Am I doing all I can on this earth to insure that when my time is up I will be standing at the pearly gates to the kingdom of God?
I figure if I know for sure that I am on the right track then it will insure that I can ask all the questions I need to once I get to heaven. In the end I think I can wait for the answers to things I ponder as long as I know for sure I will someday get the chance to ask them. For the most part I believe I live a life that will insure my eternal life with God but from time to time I can’t help but wonder. I think that is normally but it still bothers me a bit.
So unless God pays me a personal visit tonight then I will just have to go on and do my best. I will still ask the questions and yes sometimes I will still question God, but I will trust that in the end my questions get answered and my place in heaven will be secure.
What is your question?
Life in this order–your God, your Self, and all the rest.
(disclaimer—-spelling is subject to interpretation)
ihavetopoop 